Hey guys! Karlye, our new fit-mom blogger, is back with another post! :) Hello, FFABulous readers! I hope everyone is having a healthy, happy week so far.
In my last post I told you all about my lifetime of fluctuating weight due to my struggles with emotional eating. Needless to say, I feel like I have failed 100 times. But what’s most important is that I have tried 101 times. I never completely give up; I always get back on the wagon, dust myself off, and try again. I’m not going to pretend like it’s not hard to fail or that it’s easy to pick yourself back up and try again because it’s not. I’m sure giving up and throwing in the towel is a lot easier, but giving up is not an option. We can’t ever let giving up be an option!
Dusting myself off and trying again after I fall off the wagon is extremely difficult both physically and mentally. Especially this time because not only have I fallen off the wagon, but the wagon ran me over and dragged me for a while (I mean, hello! I gained 80lbs). It’s amazing how fast our bodies can lose strength, endurance, and flexibility. An exercise that used to be so easy suddenly makes you feel like your heart is about to burst and your limbs are going to fall off. I once ran 10 miles. 10 miles!! This was me back then - smaller than I've ever been in my life, and running!
Right now - today - I don’t feel like I could run 10 seconds without huffing and puffing like a chain smoker! During weight training, I can also tell a difference- I’ve lost strength and I often have to stop and catch my breath during circuit training, especially after things like step-ups, kettlebell swings, and burpees. I used to barrel through those!
It's also especially frustrating to know that you have made things so much harder for yourself by falling off the wagon! Falling off the wagon can mean you stopped working out regularly, you stopped eating as clean as you know you should be, and/or you have gained back weight you have worked so hard to lose. In my case, falling off the wagon means all of the above.
Our gym at work has walls of mirrors everywhere! It is impossible to avoid your reflection. So, along with the frustration of not being able to do things I was once able to do, I would often look at my reflection during my workouts and start to feel disgust. I was so disgusted that I allowed myself to get as big as I was again and I knew I had no one to blame but myself. I would just want to break down and cry during the workouts because I had so many negative feelings towards myself, I had so many negative thoughts running through my head, and I did not believe I could ever accomplish my goals. I felt like I was just going to be the fat girl chasing this impossible dream forever. And then one day it hit me…
This isn’t a weight loss walk in the park, it’s a weight loss journey.
This isn’t going to be easy and there will be ups and downs. Sometimes it might even feel like you are starting from scratch. But, in the end, it is you against yourself. I’ve learned that it is so important to keep a positive attitude and believe that you can accomplish your goals. If you are not positive and do not believe in yourself, you are setting yourself up for failure. The only way I will truly be defeated by this extra weight is if I allow that to happen; I refuse to be defeated!
The most important thing about being a fit mom is setting that positive example for your little ones. My son is my extra motivation to take more steps forward than I take back. I want him to know that he should never give up, he should treat his body well, and he should always believe that he is capable of anything he puts his mind to. I’m excited to continue this journey and one day (hopefully soon) meet my goals. Although I know the road will be bumpy, I hope that this is the last time I feel like I’m starting from scratch.
Have you struggled with your weight loss and felt like you were starting from scratch?
What helped you get back on track?
Previous posts in this series:
- Meet Karlye: Our New Fit Mom Blogger